How does it feel to be cared for?
In Quebec, your 18th birthday is a big one, you are officially and adult, you are allowed in bars, you can drink and you are finished with High School and have moved on to CEGEP.  It is a big deal, friends and family make a big fuss of you, lavish you with love and attention, humour, gifts and drinks, lots of drinks in some cases!
But what happens if your family is disjointed, ill and absent?  That was my lot, on my 18th birthday, my mother was yet again in a hospital somewhere, my father was missing, he had not given signs of life for weeks, one sister was studying in a far away town and the other was doing her best to make up for all this mayhem, but was overwhelmed with her own life, my two brothers had been absent from our lives for a few years by then, and probably didn't even know it was my birthday.  I had learned by then not to need to much from others, so on that day, a Friday, I was going along my business not to fussed about the fact that it was my birthday, friends had called  and there was some vague plans to try and get together later that evening and celebrate in a bar somewhere.  No dinner, no cake, as far as I was concerned, that was a certainty.
Alone in our apartment around 5pm, I was contemplating going off to the store to start gathering the necessary items for my dinner.  The doorbell rings, I buzz whoever it is in and wait to see who the mystery visitor coming up the stairs is.
My uncle and aunt, there with a cake, some flowers and bags of groceries.  Now these two had opted very early on in their relationship not to have kids, focus on career and be jet setters travelling the world over with no restraints.  For them to show up unannounced bearing gifts was unusual, and therefore even more of a heart warming moment.
Within minutes, my aunt was in the kitchen, preparing an extravagant meal for way more people than I could imagine at the moment, there was laughter in our home, it was magnificent.  My uncle was on and off the phone, contacting all my friends inviting them to an impromptu dinner party.  By the time he was done, 8 people were on their way and we were madly preparing a feast and decorating as if this was a 3 year old's party, streamers, banners and balloons everywhere!
During diner, my friends, uncle, aunt and I had fits of laughter, great political debates and I am pretty sure that we tried really hard to make plans to end world hunger.
It was wonderful, my hodge podge family had come together in the most wonderful kind of ways.
Sitting at that table, I felt love, the kind of love that has no boundaries, no strings attached.  No one was there out of pity for me, they were there out of pure joy just to be part of this evening.
26 years later, whenever I recall that birthday, I feel warmth and light and a smile immediately comes to me. In that moment, I was important, worthy of attention, love, humour and compassion.  I quite often go back to that memory, as one of the best moments in my life. Of course,since then, I have had many wonderful moments, but this one is special, it was unexpected and it came from the most unlikeliest of sources, my aunt and uncle.
My uncle passed away very suddenly 2 years ago, and I still miss him, he will forever be in my heart as the man who brought the party to me!